I had an epic breakdown. It was bad. I kept thinking about Willow and totally understood why she decided what she did. It is just so hard balancing everything and then there is work on top of training. I struggle balancing caloric and macronutrient needs while trying to get my shape and fitness back.
I raced Wednesday and it was a mess. I know I did not eat well that day of the race. I may still have needed some recovery also from our Moab trip. None the less, Sundance wasn't fun. Sundance is always fun...always. I came home and told Chris I quit.
I tried to find him a partner for Mesa Verde but he finally came back and said he did not wanted to race it without me. If I wasn't going to race neither would he. Ugh! I said I would race then.
I decided that I would not focus on pushing hard on my laps. I instead try to focus on riding smooth. Smooth riding would equal quick laps and spare my energy to ensure I could make it through the event. I was apprehensive about putting in my half of the 12 hours.
I had lots to do in between laps. Chris was throwing down fast times around 75 minutes. That did not leave me with much time to do the normal bike maintenance, fuel, relax, and the needed "personal time". After my third lap, I was exhausted. I just wanted to sit in a chair surrounded by food and eat. I knew we would be cutting it really, really close to get nine laps.
On my fourth lap, I still try to focus on smoothness but I knew I needed to push some too. It was getting super close to the cut off and I thought I might make it back in time for Chris to go out. I didn't though. I was a few minutes late. We only got eight laps.
My lap times were not impressive by any means, but they were fairly consistent and quick-ish considering. I did feel much better about myself and riding. It really was what I needed. And being surrounded by great friends also helped soothe my soul for sure.